Breathing space

Today the nausea is not so bad, and I am just accepting that rather than trying to make some fuss over it. It's nice to not have to give 10% of my attention at any one time to not throwing up. I am venturing out for a walk today and some minor shopping and may see if any place close by has seabands and see if they work.

I really don't remember feeling this bad with Emily, but it may just be that I was too busy to notice. I do remember having to get off the subway 3 times a trip. But I have a theory that maybe walking more would help process the chemicals better, and that I was doing that more at that time.

No more spotting either so far; in fact everything has been as clear as one would like. So that's good. Hopefully this trend will continue.

I did spend some time yesterday looking at my new Emily album that Carl's sister made for me for Christmas, and crying, and missing her. It was all in a healthy way, I think, and I'm glad to have taken time for that.

I also cried at a Saturn commercial, which I attribute entirely to hormones.

My stomach continues its light-speed expansion and today I am wearing one of the maternity tops I wore during Emily's pregnancy and it's actually okay. I wasn't sure how I would feel about these clothes and I was prepared to toss them and start over, but no. I don't need to erase it and so far it's not unusually triggering.

In actual weight I have gained not a pound, but I fear I am losing muscle (another reason for some walking).

Yesterday's continued food:
more crackers, more gingerale
one serving apple-tropical fruit sauce (no sugar added)
one half cup blueberries mixed with one half cup cottage cheese
one pork chop
one and a half cups of Asian mix veggies
one slice chocolate cake (bad, again)

Today so far:
two whole-wheat toaster waffles (you can see Carl shopped in here but yum, good choice)
one serving apple-tropical fruit sauce on waffles
two ounces of medium cheddar cheese
two glasses of apple-cranberry juice (no sugar added)
NO gingerale; go me.