feelings

This morning I don't feel as pregnant, again. So I'm all anxious that the baby's stopped growing. I read that can happen and you don't actually bleed/etc. for weeks afterwards, which didn't reassure me.

I don't remember worrying this much with Emily. I guess I feel like if something goes wrong with this baby, that's it, game over.

Yesterday:
Breakfast: apple, and a piece of whole wheat toast with cashew butter
Snack: kashi (7-grain) crackers, warm milk
Lunch: chicken soup (canned, salty, with spinach added in) and one piece of whole wheat toast with cheese
Dinner (party): raw broccoli, carrot, red pepper, and mushroom with evil spinach dip; hummus and white pita; white-flour tortellini with red pepper-tomato sauce; small slice of chocolate torte with strawberry sauce
Exercise: walking to market and back (augh)
Mood: The phone call brought back all the stuff around labour with Emily and I felt very anxious a lot of the day; I also was a little bitchy and out of sorts, until the evening. Then I brightened up for the dinner, and had good conversation. I did feel torn, watching a mum with her 8 month old - half loss, over Emily. Half almost-but-not-quite daring to hope. I went to bed feeling okay and slept right through from 10-6:30.