First trimester blues

If/when this trimester ends I'll be glad.

Right now I'm truly exhausted despite having slept about 10 hours last night. I remember a few days like this with Emily, but this seems worse somehow. Of course I just had the year from hell and last week was extremely stressful, living with my parents. So I give me a pass. I'm not exercising overly this week (although I will go for some walks) and if the spotting stays stopped from this morning, after a week I'll return to aquafit. It's a waste of a pass this month, but them's the breaks.

I know exercise might help, if it were mild and gentle, but honestly crawling from the bedroom to the table to work to the couch seems herculean. Last night I didn't go to bed for an hour because it seemed too far - down the hall.

This is not unusual in the first trimester, though, so I don't take it as the end of the world. Although for me, the energy whiz kid, it sort of is.

The gingerale I'm drinking for the nausea probably is not helping to keep energy on an even keel so one of my goals for tomorrow if not today (today it's snowstorming and I'm working) is to get some real ginger from which to brew ginger tea. This will also help in preventing gestational diabetes. But right now Carl is being the man and bringing home all the gingerale for us to the glee of system children and we are drinking it.

(Did I mention I'm nauseous all the time? And hungry. Both. I need seabands or something. And yes I'm eating the small carb-laden meals.)

I had very minor spotting this morning, but awful cramps for about an hour - the kind that make breathing an issue. I really thought for sure that would herald a big showy miscarriage, but nothing so far. From what I remember of other miscarriages, they were all showy right along with the cramps, and the cramps lasted until they served the purpose of expelling the showy bits. These cramps just went away.

It's too bad they don't have personal ultrasounds so one can just check in. I am trying to keep my plaintive "please tell me it's alive!" to one every other week, so this week I'll tough it out unless I see red (literally). Plus, I don't have a doctor here yet really.

It will be easier once you can get a heartbeat, because they do have personal dopplers, although I'm not sure renting one is really all that good an idea. Something to discuss with the nurse in my Mt. Sinai intake interview.

Okay, food yesterday:

Crackers on and off all day (about 30 total; these are 7-grain and are 60 cals for 8, so not too bad)
Popcorn, one bag of light
3 clementine oranges
One serving-ish (about half a cup) cottage cheese mixed with olives and tomatoes
One croissant fetched fresh from bakery (bad, but it was a morning gift)
Mini-carrots, about 10
One bowl of homemade chicken stew: chicken thighs, potato, carrot, zucchini, onion, garlic, tomatoes, black beans
2 slices of 7-grain sunflower bread (also fetched fresh)
Copious amounts of gingerale (less than one litre)
Peppermint tea
one warm milk with a bit of chocolate sauce - ok, hot chocolate :)

Today to date:
crackers
slice of 7-grain bread with cheddar cheese
2 clementine oranges
herbal berry tea
gingerale

Food the day before (a little fuzzy):
Crackers
One serving cottage cheese
several clementines
Two bowls vegetable soup
One bowl chicken stew (see above)
Popcorn

I need more veggies and apples. Darn, I will have to go out today.

Shandra