Appointment city

Carl had to go back to Ottawa yesterday so he was in the doghouse with me and my obstetrical team today. But it went okay.

We went over the labour, twice - once with the nurse, who said some things off the record I won't write down here but made me feel that she understood what happened the first time very well, and once with the ob, who also wants me to pull the summary report from Sick Kids. So that was stressful. He read my charts really carefully and where I had once mentioned sexual abuse issues he jumped on it and asked me, in a nice way, quite a lot about it. I felt quite cared for in a round way. No decisions on c-sections or anything yet, we'll just talk about it some more.

I got tossed back into that headspace (understandably) and so I cried in the bathroom later. If only I had gone to these people first.

I've lost 2 more lbs and am on warning about that; it may not be my fault because my thyroid reading was off, but this can be due to placenta creation fucking it up, so in a few weeks I have to have more tests for that. However I do have to make sure I eat proper good caloric food as much as possible, Or Else.

We also talked about bonding and they are going to hook me up, in a few months, with some classes around newborn care and things so that I get extra chances to think about a baby as opposed to a grave, and when my ob is away in the summer I am going to have appointments with alllll the people on call when I'm due so that if we do go vaginal, I will have met all the people involved.

And, oh yes, heard the baby's heartbeat. It was in fact a very nice sound.

Shandra