Ugh

I got cocky yesterday; had a few glasses of milk, and tomato soup with vegetables for lunch.

By 5 pm I was lying on the couch wanting to die. The seabands could not conquer the bad decisions of the day. The best was that one of the cats threw up in the kitchen, and then I was sick in the bathroom, and just as I was coming out and thinking how to clean up the mess in the kitchen, Carl walked in - with his new coworker. I stood in front of the kitchen door the whole time. It was just - yuck. I'm sure it smelled. I'm sure I smelled.

I try to have a sense of perspective about these things - I mean all of having a kid is gross really; pregnancy and labour and delivery and then leaking milk and leaking diapers and puke everywhere. It's part of the territory.

But it would have been nice not to start this month. I was embarassed. Somehow I managed to recommend restaurants (he's staying at the Crown Plaza, our old haunting ground) and offer drinks (he didn't accept, thank god) and all the good stuff.

And at least I was dressed.

I still feel a bit shitty today, but I have got to go out, so I'm going to take my notebook to the library I think. I wanted to go to aquafit but honest, I think I would toss my cookies.

Lament, lament, lament.

Shandra