No news is good news

I didn't call the clinic and I think I won't, just because I'm not having a proactive day. We drove back to Ottawa late last night - left around 9 pm - and as Carl was really tired we were trading off to keep each other awake. So today I am tiiiiired.

I bought samosas at the organic food store for lunch, yummy. I wasn't too tired for that. :)

They'd've called if anything bad came back in the bloodwork, so yay us. I am starting to feel like an us, and I'm definitely into "obviously pregnant" now and out of "maybe fat." It's now way to late to not care about the outcome, and I suppose I'm settling in to that.

I'm also completely in maternity clothes now. There's still a shirt I feel belongs to Emily but the rest of the stuff has been worn or at least contemplated.

It's been hard, having put my foot down about living in Toronto. I want reassurance from Carl and for him to be happy, bubbly, and full of ideas (tm). In fact he has been some of that, but - gasp - his thoughts and feelings and emotions have not changed just to make me more comfortable. What a shock! I am working really hard to try to be cool with that and just be in the uncomfortable place of watching Carl struggle with it and feel the guilt and worry that he'll resent me or freak out, without demanding that he be the one to fix it. So far it seems to be working ok.

I have been thinking though, that we may want to rent something and delay purchase decisions. We'll see.

I didn't inform my parents that I had said that to Carl so they continued to be pretty crazy. My mother alternated between crying about my move and getting all excited about my sister's move. The combination made me feel both lousy and triggered, but I hung in there. I think it wore on other people in the system quite a lot though and we have some serious ground to regain in the next couple of weeks. I foresee trips to art galleries and some shopping. :)

Yesterday morning was bad as I think my mother tried to uninvite me to the Easter dinner at my sister's this weekend (in Ottawa), but I was so focused on leaving that I literally couldn't hear her. A brain freeze. I'll call my sister tonight to see what she wants to do, since it's her invitation.