Ridin' the broomstick

Witch baby is definitely active, burbling around in there. This morning's position seems to be whatever would cause flutters right about where a zipper would be, if maternity pants had zippers. I'd like to know, if the baby is down there, why the rest of my belly is so freakin' big. I am going to have soooo much fitness work to do next year.

I had forgotten what it's like when they dance on your bladder; it's almost like the early stages of an infection. I am sucking back cranberry juice, but I am pretty sure that it was just where witch baby ended up for a couple of hours yesterday. Not the most comfortable of experiences, although not awful. Movement is good, and that will be the mantra for the next - oh - 20 weeks.

I really hope the scan next week goes okay. Vital organs looking good would be good.

Today I went out for milk (also have been sucking that back) at about 7:15 and the air smelled just like that first real thaw. It brought back the funeral for me, at the grave site anyway (I guess that's the burial). Nothing in the past year plus seems to have taken away any of the entirely despondent, hollow, bereft feeling of that moment. It is strange to juxtapose that with this new motion.

I wonder how it will be for this kid, if everything goes okay, to be the eldest but not the first. I'm sure we can feel our way through it. I don't think, after all the experience of being multiple and such, we will have trouble treating this child as his/her own person. But I wonder what it will be like for him or her to have a parent who occasionally mourns a sibling they never knew, on damp early spring mornings.

I think it'll be okay. Just maybe.