Houston, we have a slight problem

Ultrasound and ob appointment today - neither my regular nurse nor my regular ob were in (one was on vacation, one was dealing with an emergency) so I didn't get to present the birth plan, but that's okay.

My blood pressure and protein - fine. Noah's heartbeat - great. Movement - excellent. Pockets of fluid - just dandy. Umbilical cord flow? Just great. Breathing motions (they practice on amniotic fluid!)? You betcha.

Just one thing. Weight. I have not gained much in the last two weeks. My belly has not grown. And Noah, while he has gained and now weighs 3 lbs 9 oz, did not gain enough in the 4 weeks since his ultrasound (my total gain in that time: 3 lbs) and slipped from the 50th percentile to the 20th percentile.

This is not an immediate crisis, but it is not a good thing. I asked about my diet, and they said yes, they'd like me to eat more and more precisely, perhaps some fattier things (given I have eaten pizza a couple of times in the last two weeks I'm not sure where the fats were missing) but really it's not about that. This was made pretty clear to me: yes, eating is important, but this is not a simple cause/effect thing. Even if I were experiencing famine, the baby should be growing (and he is, just not ideally enough) and sucking it out of my body.

So, as the fill-in ob said (but to me it's an Idahoian phrase) "it is as it is." Noah didn't gain the weight 'cause he didn't, not 'cause I was hauling books around my house or should have eaten more pizza or steak or something. It may be a problem with the placenta. It may be that he has some kind of wonky metabolism. It may be that he kicks around too much. And it may be, and probably is, that he's just going to be a 6 lb something totally healthy baby and there's nothing to worry about.

What it does mean is that we have to have ultrasounds every two weeks, and if he's not gaining right at the next one, they may want to get him out early and feed him out here, in the NICU. Which - urgh. That would be hard. But not as hard as some things, like one's kid not making it to the NICU. If we have to go through being NICU parents again, then we will, and that's it.

When my belly wasn't growing with Emily and my other ob had concerns she said "well, that's a concern. See you next time." This staff organizes ultrasounds and puts me on high calorie warning and has me commit to three times a day activity checks and tells me the plan for how they will handle it if the trend continues. I'm not really knocking my previous ob here (well, maybe a little) because the wait and see message is still pretty much the same. But I am more comfortable this time to have all the extra tests, etc.

So, it wasn't a totally happy morning.

On the ultrasound though, I saw feet. Feet, feet, feet, that kicked the monitor and that had really quite lovely kissable toes, I thought. I saw how this kid punches. I saw his spine and his skull and the inside of his heart, things I won't see once he's out (I hope). And he had his belly measured so I saw that too. He's the most adorable kid in 2-d black and white.

So suck that nutrition back Noah. :)