Baby's growing up

I am recovering from the infection debacle, but slowly. And I lost 4 lbs! This is not good, at this point - not that I am underweight, but the losing during breastfeeding just can't be optimal.

I nested in with Noah the last two days, although Wednesday I was so nauseated from the painkillers and woozy that Carl had to be hovering a fair amount. Yesterday I was back firmly in the saddle and just put everything within reach in the rec room and we had a one-room (plus bathroom) day, Noah and I.

It was blissful, watching DVDs while playing with him and cuddling and dancing a bit in a cautious way. I eased up on my "don't spend your days in front of DVDs" rule and didn't do a lick of housework or anything. Not what I want, overall, but now and then I think it's fine. Noah didn't seem to mind that my attention was sometimes focused on the boob tube. Changing locales and using only the playmat also brought some changes out with him.

First, he's just way more alert and interactive every day. He's starting to settle into a vague routine, although his feeds during the day are still a bit all over the map. He plays for up to an hour, as long as there's someone to play with the last while. Play is stretching, kicking, waving his arms, watching, smiling, and making sounds. Oh and staring.

Not much rolling though, and I'm starting to - not worry, but keep an eye on his lack of interest in his hands. He is only at 9 and a half weeks, but he really rarely notices them, although he is stretching them towards things more. (He's developed the strangely disconcerting habit of patting my breast while he feeds too.) Somehow all this comes across sometimes as a little passive - another word would be content. He isn't yet motivated to go greet the world with touch and motion, too much. He's observing. And I hope that's all okay - I think it is, but I am sometimes a born worrier.

(I know I should enjoy that it's so safe, right now.)

Second, he likes to fall asleep more on his own. I should celebrate this because it bodes well for future sleep and in fact, he is sleeping 5-6 hrs through now about 4 nights a week (including last night! yay!). But I'm a little sad too in that selfish way... he's bigger, he likes to stretch out, and as much as he loves to be held and comforted and gets grumpy if he doesn't have cuddle time, he's also growing up and doesn't need to feel like he's in the womb listening to my heart to fall asleep. It's a tiny step to independence. And that's what we're into, for the next 18 years - the long slow path to it. But boy, there's a little bitty bit of missing there about the newborn that fussed if you dared set one inch of his body off mine or Carl's.

Third, I improvised a kick gym by holding rattles at his feet, and he kicked at them. So maybe I shouldn't worry so much, if he's doing that with his feet. Hmmmm. Writing this out is good. :)

Fourth he is starting to like his tummy, even if it looks rather uncomfortable when he runs out of energy and plants his face down on the quilt. He fell asleep on his tummy yesterday, after 15 minutes of happy lifting and shifting and smiling and a bit of movement scootching up. I left him that way since I was right next to him to keep an eye out for SIDS and he slept well for over an hour.

Of course then when he woke up he was shocked to find the world upside down!

This weekend we need to do some baby shopping - something other people's generosity has made so unusual. We don't have anything like a snowsuit that goes in the carseat well - nothing with slits for a 5-pt harness, in other words - and I want to see what there is on the market. I think he could use some sleepers, although last night out of desperation (see above about not doing laundry :)) I tried the next size up and it wasn't ridiculous after all and people gave us a few in that size. And a kick gym, since I haven't been successful on eBay.

And maybe a few more clothes, if Value Village has cute ones in. Yes, it's all about the second-hand stuff when it comes to baby outfits, as much as I admit I actually like the clothes at Baby Gap (the cottons are just nicer; I'm sorry but they are). With luck maybe there'll be some used Baby Gap there. :)

Shandra